//alert.js
click_count=0;
function nothing()
{
	click_count++;
	if(click_count>3)
	{
		alert ("Need help? Pagedown...");
		return;
	}
	x=Math.floor(Math.random()*4);
	switch(x)
	{
		case 0: alert ("There's nothing there.");break;
		case 1: alert ("That is not the marmalade");break;
		case 2: alert ("Nope, the marmalde is orange.");break;
		case 3: alert ("Nothing there.");break;
		default:alert ("Try again, it's not there");break;
	}
}
function insult()
{
	click_count++;
	if(click_count>3)
	{
		alert ("Need help? Pagedown...");
		return;
	}	
	x=Math.floor(Math.random()*5);
	switch(x)
	{
		case 0: alert ("Are you stupid?");break;
		case 1: alert ("Whats your IQ?");break;
		case 2: alert ("Have you got saw dust for a brain?");break;
		case 3: alert ("No marmalade this morning?");break;
		default:alert ("Are you serious!");break;
	}
}
function big_insult()
{
	click_count++;
	if(click_count>4)
	{
		alert ("Need help? Pagedown...");
		return;
	}
	x=Math.floor(Math.random()*5);
	switch(x)
	{
		case 0: alert ("I've seen donkeys with more\nbrains than you!");break;
		case 1: alert ("Are you controlling the mouse\nwith your... foot?");break;
		case 2: alert ("Give up now!\nYour're a failure;-)");break;
		case 3: alert ("Are you colour blind? The marmalde is ORANGE");break;
		default:alert ("If the Jar was any bigger...");break;
	}
}